Another Miracle

A Lutheran minister is driving down to New York to see the radio show and he's stopped in Connecticut for speeding. The state trooper smells alcohol on his breath and then he sees an empty wine bottle on the floor, and he says, "Sir, have you been...

A Walking Economy

This guy is walking with his friend, who happens to be a psychologist. He says to this friend, "I'm a walking economy." The friend asks, "How so?" "My hair line is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation, and both of these together are...

Tanning THAT One Part

Here is this guy who really takes care of his body; he lifts weights and jogs five miles every day. One morning, he looks into the mirror and admires his body. He notices that he is really sun tanned all over except one part and he decides to do...

Are You My Son?

An old man was sitting on a bench in the mall when a young man with spiked hair came over and sat down beside him. The boy's hair was bright yellow and green with orange tips, and he had blue makeup around his eyes. The old man kept looking at him....

The Pastor's Expanding Family

A pastor's wife was expecting a baby, so he stood before the congregation and asked for a raise. After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the preacher's family expanded, so would his paycheck. After 6 children, this started to get...

Wife Having Trouble Turning 30

A wife was having trouble with the idea of turning 30 and was oversensitive to any signs of advancing age. When she found a prominent gray hair in her bangs, she pointed to her forehead and asked her husband, "Oh no, have you seen this?" "What?" he...

Student exams

Two college seniors had a week of exams coming up. They decided to party instead. Their biggest exam was on Wednesday and they showed up telling the professor that their car had broken down the night before due to a very flat tire and they needed a...

The Happy Hangover

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he...

White Hairs...

One day, a girl walks to her mother and look at her mother's hair and sadly said: "Why are some of your hair white mom?" The mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white. The...

Men Are Like... OUCH!

Blenders. You need one, but you're not quite sure why. Commercials. You can't believe a word they say. Computers. Hard to figure out and never have enough memory. Government Bonds. They take way too long to mature. Horoscopes. They always tell you...

Teacher Knows Best

Eight-year-old Nina brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good, mostly A's and a couple of B's. However, her teacher had written across the bottom: "Nina is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school....

The Vet

There was once an aspiring veterinarian who put himself through veterinary school working nights as a taxidermist. Upon graduation, he decided he could combine his two vocations to better serve the needs of his patients and their owners, while...

Let's Make Pretend That We're Married

A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment they both go to sleep, the man on the top bunk, the woman on the lower. In the middle of the night the man leans...